How Do I Make My Essay More Descriptive?
Question by : How do i make my essay more descriptive?
A desperate, young woman gave up everything for something that could have ended her life at any given moment: crystal meth. That young woman was my older sister Laurel. My sister never really enjoyed school, so she dropped out at age sixteen. Shortly after dropping out, she went to live with her father in Ohio (we had different dads). While living there, my sister met her boyfriend, Nick, who made his money by dealing drugs. She eventually moved in with him and started using. Laurel did not only change her life, but changed me and my families’ as well.
My sister thought her life was perfect. All she cared about was meth, and when she would be able to get her next high. However; once my mom found out she was using, she immediately made her move back down to Georgia. Consequently, Laurel was sent to a rehab center for the first time. Unfortunately, she relapsed shortly after being released. On the other hand, it was very hard for her to find the drugs she wanted sometimes. Therefore, she would go days without getting high and have extreme withdrawal symptoms. I remember one night she came home from a friend’s house and told my mom she had not eaten in 3 or four days. My mom tried giving her a pack of cheese crackers and Laurel threw them in her face.
(thats what i have so far!) i need to make it more like I’m SHOWING the reader what happened not TELLING them. PLEASE HELP! xoxoxo
Best answer:
Answer by Gentoo Linux
your grammar isn’t the best and your transitions need work
What do you think? Answer below!
Alison Krauss & Union Station – Oh, Atlanta…FAIL!….OR, The Importance of Sound Checks… – On July 28, 2007, at Chicago’s Toyota Park, Alison Krauss & Union Station. despite the sound engineer, performed “Oh. Atlanta for Eric Clapton Crossroads Guitar Festival. The 2007 Crossroads Guitar Festival was held at Toyota Park in Bridgeview, Illinois on July 28, 2007. Tickets were estimated as sold out for the 28000 capacity park in 22 minutes. A DVD of the concert was released on November 20, 2007. The festival benefits the Crossroads Centre founded by Eric Clapton, a drug treatment center located in Antigua. The concerts are also intended to be a showcase for a variety of guitarists. All were hand-picked by Eric Clapton himself, who addressed the 2007 audience, saying that each were some of the very best, and those who had earned his respect.
'Fake' drugs, real danger
Filed under: Ohio Drug Rehab Centers
Jim Munson, director of the New Visions drug treatment center in Alexandria, said “They are taking the country by storm.” The New … When asked if he believed they could be found in Alexandria, Munson responded confidently, “Oh, yeah.” But, don't ask …
Read more on DL-Online
Mentally ill ex-Ohio offenders receive more medication
Filed under: Ohio Drug Rehab Centers
The Department of Rehabilitation and Correction also is developing a program that could give the same inmates prescriptions for up to two additional months, though they would have to find a way to pay for the medications. The change, which went into …
Read more on Chillicothe Gazette
Third death at Okla. drug rehab prompts probe
Filed under: Ohio Drug Rehab Centers
OKLAHOMA CITY (AP) — After three deaths in nine months at an eastern Oklahoma drug rehab center with ties to the Church of Scientology, the local sheriff confirmed Wednesday that he has launched an investigation. Pittsburg County Sheriff Joel Kerns …
Read more on NorthJersey.com