Pregnant Girlfriend Broke Up With Me, Don’t Know What to Do?
Question by anonymous tipster: Pregnant girlfriend broke up with me, don’t know what to do?
My (ex) girlfriend and I have been together for right at a year. We found out four months ago that we’re going to have a beautiful child brought into the world :). I’m 26 and she’s 28, we both have good jobs and each own our own house. The past couple weeks she’s been very distant, and no longer calls or texts me during the day, I have to initiate everything. I asked her a couple nights ago what has been on her mind? She told me that she wants her space, and feels that I need to change some things about me until I can be back with her and be a family. The things she wants me to work on and change are:
1. Leave drug rehabilitation treatment. I used to have a TERRIBLE drug addiction, and I have been clean for 257 days. She wants me to leave treatment, because it honestly takes up a lot of money. I’m physically over my addiction, but not mentally. I understand she wants the extra grand a month I spend on rehab to go torwards the child, but I’m doing really well and don’t want to jeopardize my sobriety.
2. Quit smoking: I’ve been a smoker for for eight years. I bought some NICORETTE losenges yesterday and am going to quit not only because of her, but because if I’m going to be a father I want to be tobacco free and a positive influence on my child’s health and to be a good role model.
3. My financial situation. I have a good job, but I used to make 6 figures and I bought a house, a car, and was married when I was making that money. So I lost a lot in the divorce, but have a lot of bills and only 60k in income a year. I’ve worked something out with my creditotrs to lower my payments.
I understand she has her concerns about me, but I want to be a family and apart of her life. Do a lot of unmarried pregnant women do this kind of stuff? I think its very unfair that she is making these ultimatums, but honestly I don’t even know if she wants to be with me even if I fix these things. “We used to live together and she moved out and bought a house a couple months ago, because she wanted to be closer to work with the child coming. We would still date and see eachother all the time, but I think her living on her own has given her the independence she has always sought in her life. I just don’t know why she doesn’t want to be a family. Last night she told me that I’ll still get to see the kid, but she plans on moving back to Cleveland within a few years which is 250 miles North of where I live now!
If she moves it will ruin my relationship with my child. I can’t follow her wherever she goes, especially if she gets married to antoher guy. My dad says that someday maybe a really understanding girl of my situation will fall in love with me and I can have a real family someday. This is just so sad, as this is not how I wanted my first child to come into the world, but that’s life I guess.
I’m going over there to talk to her tonight, what should I say? Should I just wait it out and see how it goes?
Best answer:
Answer by Brittany
Just let her know you will be there to support the baby.
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